Road to Ruin

Road to Ruin is the 3rd episode of Action League Now!. It premiered on the Kablam! episode, Your Real Best Friend on October 1, 1996.

Characters Present

• The Flesh
• Thundergirl
• Stinky Diver
• Meltman
• The Chief
• The Mayor

Plot

The episode begins with the Action League washing the Action Mobile in Danger Driveway. Thundergirl complains that they don't remember the chore of washing The Chief's new car being in the Action League pledge. Stinky then declares that he wouldn't have left the Navy if he wished to be a sea dog. When The Chief points out that Stinky and Thundergirl missed a spot, Meltman and The Flesh accidentally spray him with a hose, pushing him out into the road. After The Chief orders the League to make the Action Mobile shine brightly, he gets run over by a car, whose driver is littering. The League then climbs aboard the Action Mobile, fights over the front seat, and chases after the litterbug, accidentally hitting The Chief in the process, who weakly worries over the fate of his new car.

The litterbug is none other than The Mayor, who plans to dump his garbage anywhere he pleases. When the League (who has been singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat") catches up to The Mayor, he tosses his garbage at them. One of the pieces of paper he throws covers up the Action Mobile, causing them to lose The Mayor and crash into a fruit stand and some boxes.

A few minutes later, The Flesh hopes they can soon catch The Mayor. Meltman hopes so, too, because he needs to go to the bathroom. When the paper that was blinding them before flies off, they suddenly see that they are about to fall down over a cliff. As they do, Thundergirl leaves to chase after The Mayor herself.

Meanwhile, The Mayor is still littering wherever he pleases. Thundergirl catches up to him and tells him to pull over, but he tells her that she is about to become roadkill. Thundergirl then detects that she is about to get hit by a van! The Narrator then asks if she will be run over by the van and if the Action Mobile will survive its fall, telling the viewers to stay tuned for part two.

In the second act, Thundergirl gets hit by the van and lands on the ground. Thundergirl isn't hurt by that, but she is when the Action Mobile falls on top of her. The Flesh and Stinky tell her to stop napping and climb back aboard, as The Mayor is escaping. The League then continues to chase after the Mayor and eventually, the two meet face to face. The League charges at The Mayor, but since his car is much bigger than the Action Mobile, it runs over and flattens it. The Mayor is sure he's gotten rid of the league and won, but then sees a "Road Closed" barrier (which counts as a tie) and is unable to stop his car, which crashes through the barrier and down over the hill, setting itself on fire! The League, who has survived being flattened, ask themselves what drove the Mayor to trash everything. Meltman isn't sure what it is specifically, but he's sure it's flammable. The Mayor, still in his burning car, says, "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?" and the League laughs at him as the story ends.

Quotes

• Thundergirl (While the Action Mobile falls off the cliff): "Uh, this is my stop. Thundergirl, away!"

The Flesh: "I love it when she does that."

• The Mayor: "Ha ha! I don't give a hoot, I pollute!"

• The Flesh: "I spy with my little eye, something that begins with the letter "L".

The Flesh, Thundergirl, Stinky Diver, and Meltman: "The litterbug!"

• The Mayor: "Bawk bawk bawk, I win, losers!" (Sees a ROAD CLOSED sign) "Then again, maybe it's a draw."

Allusions

• When The Mayor says, "I don't give a hoot, I pollute", he is referencing Woodsy Owl's motto, "Give a Hoot, Don't Pollute!".
• The title of this episode is an obvious reference to The Ramones' 1978 album Road to Ruin.
• The car that The Mayor drives is a Chrysler LeBaron.
• The car that Thundergirl gets run over is a Dodge Ram Van.

Previous Episode

• Stinky On Ice

Next Episode

• No Fly Zone

Chief’s Phrase

“I want that car to shine like a tin roof a tarpaper shack”

Gallery

"Dateline; Danger Driveway..."

"...where the greatest superheroes in the world do battle with a filthy foe."

"I don't recall washing The Chief's new car being in the Action League oath."

"Yeah. If I wanted to be a swabby, I would have stayed in the Navy."

"Stinky, Thundergirl, you missed a spot."

"Got you covered, guys."

"Oh, blast it..."

"You raisin-heads. quit fooling around! I want that car to shine like the tin roof on a tar paper shack."

The Chief is then run over by a mysterious car whose driver is littering.

"Car."

"Hey!"

"That guy's a litterbug!"

"Nobody pollutes on my watch! Action League, away!"

The Chief lies on the road, badly hurt.

"I got front seat!" "I got front seat!" "No way, I called it!"

"My new... car..."

"What toxic terror is behind this enviromental disaster? None other than His Dishonor, The Mayor!"

"Ha ha! All the world is a dump!"

"And only one elite..."

"...fighting force..."

"...can stop him!"

"Row row row your boat, gently down the stream..."

"There he is, the rotter!"

"Hang on!"

The Action League chase the Mayor.

"Curses! Action trash on my tail! Eat my garbage!"

The Action Mobile windshield is covered in paper...

..therefore, they lose direction.

"Are we there yet?" "Yeah, I gotta take an Action Tinkle..."

The Action Mobile falls off a cliff.

"Uh, this is my stop."

"Thundergirl, away!"

"I Love it when she does that."

"Meanwhile..."

"Ha ha! I don't give a hoot, I pollute!"

"Pull it over, Mayor, your litterbug days are over!"

"Oh, yeah? Well, your roadkill days are just beginning!"

"Uh, oh..." "Is this Thundergirl's final flight in the fast lane? Can the Action Car close encounter of the concrete kind? Stay tuned for the action-strewn conclusion of Action League Now!" /"A mad polluter on the loose, the Action Mobile free fall, Thundergirl heading for Splatsville. Can she fear out of harm's way?"

"Apparently not." "That didn't hurt a bit!"

"Thundergirl, this is no time for a nap!" "Come on, he's getting away."

"On the road again, our heroes close in on their trashy target, using their finely honed tracking skills."

"I spy with my little eye, something that begins with the letter 'L'."

"The Litterbug!"

"Chicken, anyone?"

"Turkey for you, waste case!"

"Action against Evil!"

"Who will blink force in this final death-defying..."

"...battle of nerves?"

"No chance! He hasn't got the guts!"

"Ouchies!"

"Bawk bawk bawk! I win, losers!"

The Mayor, however, discovers that the road is closed...

"Then again, maybe it's a draw."

...and his car crashes off the cliff and explodes!

"What sinister thing drives a man to litter?" "I don't know, but whatever it is, it's flammable."

"Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

"The end."